Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
