her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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