He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
