You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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