Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
