Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
