O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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