you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
