white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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