I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
