Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
