his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
