Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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