i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
