I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
