i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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