There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
