If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
