I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
