I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
