How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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