I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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