I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize