Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
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I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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