thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Congratulations! We have a period
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
