Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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