do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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