Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
