i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Green mimosas i think yes
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
