you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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