Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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