After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize