Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
