Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
