I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize