Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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