She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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