You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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