pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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