Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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