HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
