I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
