you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
