you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
