I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
