Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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