I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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