if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
