Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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