His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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