I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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