You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
