How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
