He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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