I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
the liver wants what the liver wants
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
