some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize