So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
