I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
