This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
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It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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