If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
