i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
